It ain't about how hard you hit...

...It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! - Rocky Balboa

Thats my favourite line from the movies - and coincidentally it comes from my favourite character in the movies.

Many people who have been party to this blog for the past 10 months and have supported me have been totally unaware that I was actually fighting two major battles in my life at the same time.  I have purposely chosen not to write about the other one, not least because legally it wouldn't have made sense to do so.

Anybody who knows me will know that apart from my family the major love and obsession in my life has always been Sheffield Wednesday Football Club.  The fortunes - or misfortunes - of my club have been well documented over the last 10 years, and the depths to which we have sunk in that time has been unparalleled at any time since the club was formed in 1867.  Those depths have not just been on the pitch - off the pitch too the club has seen its debt rise to beyond £30million, we've seen supporters groups and individuals labelled as 'cretins' and 'scum' by the clubs Chairman, and around 6,000 supporters have, perhaps unsurprisingly,  deserted the club in the last 5 years.

During that time I have chosen to write about my feelings along with around 8,000 other supporters using an internet messageboard called Owlstalk - regular readers will remember the Owlstalkathon that we launched on the weekend of my treatment commencing.

In February 2006 I received a letter from a high profile firm of solicitors in Sheffield informing me that the club intended suing me for 'libellous' remarks I had made in my postings.  The weekend before that I had been ejected from the executive lounge at Hillsborough without any explanation as to why.  My employer at the time received a letter copying them in on the allegations I was to face, and questioning whether my use of an internet messageboard was appropriate in works time.

Naturally, I was appalled.  I was massively disappointed that my comments were, in my view, being taken out of context and used as a stick to beat me with.  I was scared, I read up on defamation cases and realised that the legal costs involved were potentially huge.  I was also furious, and decided there and then that I wouldn't be attending games any more as I felt that I would be paying money through the turnstiles that would be used to pay a solicitor to act against me.  And I became determined too, determined that I wouldn't give in, and that I would stand by what I had said, because I believed every word to be true.

I was approached by several newspapers, some of them nationals, all prepared to pay good money to print the story of a club taking one of its supporters to court for objecting to the way it was being run.  I didn't accept those offers though.  I was also approached by a friend who is a wealthy businessman, who agreed to put me in touch with a firm of lawyers based in Manchester who specialised in this kind of work.  He also agreed to underwrite some of the legal costs involved in defending my case.

A year had passed, and we thought the club had decided against taking action.  4 months later a letter dropped on the doormat, and it seemed that the lawyers had waited the maximum time to issue proceedings (1 year), and then the maximum time to serve proceedings on me (4 months).  I was being sued.  This was it - there was no going back.

Before I go any further I would ask you to imagine spending 16 months dreading every time the phone rings, or every morning when the postman walks up the path.  It was almost a relief that proceedings were being taken - it stopped the uncertainty!

As the months passed I became more at ease with the law, more convinced that there was no way we were going to lose, and more confident that my lawyer (who by this point was so convinced we would win that he was working on a 'no win-no fee' basis) was absolutely the right man for the job.

I spent time at a Barristers chambers in London preparing a response to the allegations.  It really was becoming an education.. (the Barrister too worked on a no win - no fee basis - according to my lawyer that is extremely rare in these cases).  Throughout my diagnosis and treatment the case continued, developing towards the collection of witness statements.  The case was even listed to be heard at the Royal Courts of Justice in London from Feb 2009 - and was reserved for 10 days!  Scary stuff...

Two days after I announced the results of my MRI scan on this blog, the previous post to this one, I was contacted and told that the case had been dropped and that the club were going to settle my legal costs.  There was a statement on the club website that seemed to suggest that the decision had been taken because of my health - which was baffling - but still... it was bloody good news.

I cannot relay enough just how much the 2.5 years affected me, my life, my family, my relationship, my career.  But it taught me a very valuable lesson.

It taught me to never, ever, give up in the face of adversity.  It was the best possible preparation for being ill.  And thats why the quote from the Rocky film I started with resonates so strongly wth me.  It sums up the last 2.5 years brilliantly and the determination thats needed to face up to the bigger problems you can face. 

Heres the quote in full.  All the best.

Nigel x

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!

Until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life