As many of you will be aware from the last few entries I had quite a busy weekend planned!!

Well, as they say about the best laid plans...

I didn't mention in the wedding post how much pain I was in as I posted that night. My mouth was burning spectacularly, and all the usual techniques were having no effect. Sarah even went to Boots for Paracetamol and Codeine solubles (the strongest painkillers) and even they didn't help. We rang Weston Park who wanted to admit me, so like the awkward idiot I am I decided to try and sleep it off!

The following morning was no better, so I decided that the Lakes was probably a bridge too far and I sent Sarah off with the dog and they had a great time. To be honest I spent pretty much all day in bed, but still managed to watch Saturday Kitchen!!

Sunday brought the same problems and so I missed Aston Hall for Chloes 18th. The family did come back to ours after for champagne and I raised a glass of water inm her honour!

On Monday, with no improvements again (if anything things were getting worse) we rang Weston Park and they asked us to come in with an over night bag 'just in case'. Its now Thursday as I type this - and I'm still here!!

I've just met with my doctor who has put the camera up my nose (its specialised not a digital camera for all those who tell me I have a big nose). Apparently everything looks normal and is what they would expect for someone who had such aggressive treatment. The problem I have is mucositis in my throat, tongue and cheeks and it is recognised as being very painful and a very common side effect.

I've been on morphine all week as well as numerous antibiotics, plus a pottassium supplement as my pottassium levels are low.

Its not been the most pleasant of stays. Don't get me wrong, the nurses and staff have been as immense as ever, but its been very difficult being here and being more conscious of what's happening to people around me.

There are a number of people I'm aware of who are clearly leaving Weston Park in the worst possible way. I overheard a man in another room screaming for his Mum the other evening (around 2am) such was his pain. He died the next morning.

I've seen people who have been told their tumours are inoperable and seen at first hand just how that destroys people. There's a man on my ward who doesn't know what planet he's on and he has just found out he has two brain tumours.

Its strengthened my resolve to spend as much of my spare time as possible doing everything I can to raise money for cancer research and Weston Park Hospital in particular. The term 'angels' has been used many times to describe nurses. Its never been more appropriate to describe the very special people here. And the doctors are bloody 'Saints'.

All the best

Nigel xx